No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
