miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
