Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
