i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize