garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
