Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize