More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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