I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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