i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
