I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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