I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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