Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Found your dick twin last night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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