Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
