just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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