She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
