my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want a musical about memes.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
