At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize