i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize