I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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