I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I puked a lego.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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