Don't you send me to vm
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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