There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
