one word: firstdatebathroomanal
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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