im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
