i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
