i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
