I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
