i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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