Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry, invalid areacode. Here are some texts you might like though.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

That's the best idea I've heard all day.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world

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