what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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