So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
