Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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