i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize