This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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