Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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