So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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