another moral hangover. fuck.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
