Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
