omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
