when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
