You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
