I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
