I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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