Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
