i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
