I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
