I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
