so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
