Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
is wine microwaveable?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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