Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
