i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
