Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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