now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
