i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
