was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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