it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
