Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize