dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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